Connecting With Your Teen — It’s Okay If It’s Not Perfect

Posted on by Parent Trust

If you are struggling to connect with your teen, you are not alone! Here are a few ways that you can strengthen your connection with your teen:

Show Them Love 

Most important — show your teen that you care about them. It does not have to be perfect. Keep up with any traditions you’ve been doing with them ever since they were little, making adjustments for their age. They might act like they don’t appreciate it (eye rolls, shoulder shrugs, etc.). Often, they secretly appreciate the effort – even though you might not know that until years later!

Get to Know Your Teen 

A teenager’s brain is still under construction and won’t be fully developed until they are about 25 years old. This is why teens sometimes make fast decisions and have emotional outbursts – their brain is still growing! Teens are juggling a lot — friendships, school work, social pressures – right at the same time their brains are being remodeled. It takes some patience and creativity to get to know the adult your teen is turning into.

Encourage Healthy Risks and Independence

Parents can guide and support their teens and still welcome their teen’s independence. Support your teen while they take healthy risks like being in a singing group or robotics club or sports team. Try not to be too critical if your teen is trying a lot of different things. Provide loving and practical support while they take healthy risks and learn who they are becoming.

Show Yourself Love

Give yourself some grace. Your teen is watching how you treat yourself and treat the important people in your life. Parenting a teenager brings up LOTS of different feelings. You can let yourself feel all those feelings and remember…you don’t have to be a perfect parent and you are not trying to create a perfect relationship with your teenager. There will definitely be ups and downs. That is real. And having a real connection with your teen is the best way to prepare your teen for life.

Resources: Parents Connecting with Their Teen